Several people have mentioned to me Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret, which deals with the Law of Attraction, and how negative thoughts breed more negative thoughts, and positive breeds positive. I have not yet actually read this book, so perhaps all the answers I need would be within its pages. It’s on my reading list, I promise.
In the meantime, though, I’m noticing its presence in my day-to-day life. When I am grumpy, I frequently find myself inside what I’ve taken to calling a “cascade of negatives.” I’d noticed this in arguments before now, but only recently did I realize that it’s actually something I do even when I’m not in the thick of it.
As an example, yesterday I was sitting on our couch, talking to my husband. I started out complaining about some minor detail or other about our son’s preschool, but before I knew it, I had spent probably 10 minutes ranting about one topic after another – just bouncing from one topic to the next without any pause. Sure, there were segues from one to the next, but the place I ended up was nowhere near the place I had started. Each negative communication led into the next, carrying me down the slippery slope further into grumpiness.
Generally speaking, I’m a pretty self-aware kind of person, so this realization took me rather by surprise. All the more so when I realized this pattern is something I’ve done for as long as I can remember, and is probably the driving force behind the vast majority of the arguments I’ve had with, well, everyone with whom I’ve ever argued. Point A leads to Point B, etc., until we’re tumbling down that hill together. And there’s nothing at the bottom of that hill but more anger, resentment, and negativity!
So … how do I break that cycle? I don’t want to ignore or bury the negative feelings. I just want to keep them from sweeping me up into their currents. Anyone have any suggestions (beyond, of course, “Read Byrne’s book.)? What works for you? And how do you tell yourself, when you’re already grumpy, to snap of it and be rational?
I’m anxious for your feedback!
… of a book, that is. A favored book. Things have been more than a little hectic, stressful, and busy around these parts lately. While some folks might turn to comfort foods (okay, I confess – I do that, too), I also turn to comfort books. My mind is too muddled to keep up with complicated plots or over-wordy descriptions when life is busy. I want simplicity and familiarity, and characters who feel like old friends.
This time around, I’m re-reading the Harry Potter series, as I have a few times in the past when I’ve craved easy, light reading. I also dug out another favorite, The Time-Traveler’s Wife. I restarted Harry Potter last night, but I couldn’t bear to put The Time-Traveler’s Wife back into the box once I’d gotten it out. It’s like an old friend! This is the book that I have recommended time and again to anyone who has ever asked me for book recommendations. Not one person has come back to me with a complaint. Quite the opposite, in fact. Everyone has loved it as much as I did. They’ve fallen in love with Henry and Claire, just as I did. We’ve all shared in this couple’s ups and downs, and cried our way through this beautiful book. If you’ve read it, you understand why I just can’t bear to leave this one stored in a box here in NY while I’m starting a whole new chapter of my own life, in a whole new state!
