Language Police alert

On and off for a few days now, I’ve had Squeeze’s Daphne stuck in my head. The key line (“Daphne, don’t be ridiculous.”) keeps morphing in my mental iTunes, using a recent slang term that I really, really despite: redonkulous. I mean, I suppose it’s almost onomatopoetic in nature because the word just sounds ridiculous, but personally I don’t consider that an asset.

In any case, it got me thinking about other words that really bother me. Vajayjay, for example. I heard this a lot when I was pregnant and reading pregnancy sites and forums, and it drove me crazy. If you can’t use the correct word – or at least a less stupid-sounding euphemism – then perhaps you’re not mature enough to be discussing it at all.

Others on my list include ‘anyways,’ (though I’m unable to locate a source right now to prove that this is incorrect, but it still bugs me), ‘acrost’ (even though my own mother uses this fairly regularly), ‘axe’ (instead of ask), and most uses of “LOLspeak.” I’m sure there are scores of others, but these are the few that come immediately to mind.

How about you? What are your word-related pet peeves?

Fashion: I Just Don’t Understand

Maybe I’m getting old, but I am not so old that I’ve forgotten my teenage years. I was definitely more interested in fashion then than I am now, but I like to think I still had common sense. The only concession I recall making to the idea of “with beauty comes pain,” was the tight jeans I would squeeze into – and even with that, I can blame my own disproportionate frame as much as anything else.

Generally speaking, however, I simply do not understand the idea of sacrificing comfort for fashion. I can understand wanting to look one’s best, particularly when you’re young and single and wanting to attract attention. But do people really believe that mini skirts and no jacket in single-digit degree weather are the way to attract the kind of attention they want? (Caution: Heteronormative slant ahead.) When guys look at a girl dressed with no sense, do they really think she looks hot? Or … just cold? Do guys like it when girls toddle around in heels so high they can barely walk in them at all? And more to the point, do women want men to like it? Do they feel sexy when they can barely breathe because tight clothing, or when their exposed arms or legs are covered in goosebumps? And as for those shoes – are sprained or broken ankles now the epitome of high fashion, too?

Truly ridiculous shoes

Let’s not be sexist here, however. Men are not immune to this phenomenon either. In fact, when it comes to the “clothing inappropriate for current weather” issue, they might even be worse. After all, tough guys are impervious to cold, right?

I’m going to switch tracks here before I close because my aim is not actually to insult people, not even to spew sarcasm – though I did lay that on a bit thick, I admit. I simply cannot relate to the mindset that puts fashion above comfort. By all means, be in style and look your best. But I challenge you to do it without giving up being comfortable. It can be done.