Mamapalooza*

In Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Sid the Sloth “adopts” 3 eggs to care for as his own. As the story goes on, he inevitably refers to himself as their Mommy. Sid is male, and not even of the same species as these babies, yet he applies the label of mother to himself.

To mother is to nurture. It is not dependent upon gender, nor biology. My husband has been as much a “mother” to our son as I have; sometimes he’s done the same for me. I say that I became a mother on April 4, 2007, the day the double line showed up on my home pregnancy test… but in reality, I had been one long before then. In 2001, I became mother to our first cat. My attempts at plant-mothering haven’t been very successful, admittedly, but they’ve existed. I’ve played “mother hen” to pretty much all of my friends at one point or another: “Don’t forget to eat,” “Call your doctor about that,” “Remember your medicines,” etc. At times, I have even been motherly to my own parents.

On the other side of the coin, there are those who have mothered me. Mother’s Day – this year and last – is difficult because I’ve been away from my mom. It reminds me of the geographical distance that lies between us now. But motherhood knows nothing of geography, and I feel her support as keenly today as I always have. Likewise, I feel the bonds of those others who have mothered me over the years. I have a grandmother and aunts who played major roles in my childhood and to whom I have always remained close. Friends – sometimes older, sometimes not – have taken care of me over the years. Teachers, ministers, role models… all deserve some acknowledgement of their nurturing.

And let us not, of course, forget Mother Earth, who nurtures us all by providing us with a home, with food and water, with all of our basic needs. Our Earth suffers from the careless and thoughtless way we treat her. Much like any human mothers does, at one point or another. She knows we do not intend to hurt, to be cruel; she believes we simply don’t know any better. And she loves us, no matter what.

To be a mother is to nurture someone – or something, no matter what.

* Title – as well as some of the major themes of this post – taken from the sermon of the same name, delivered by Rev. Allison Farnum on May 8, 2011 at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Fort Myers

Measure Your Life

Our lives are often measured after we are gone. Obituaries are written, eulogies spoken, and stories shared. Why, though, must we wait until someone has passed to share these stories? Why do we hold our own stories inside throughout our lives until someone else must tell them for us?

Surely, some of it is out of modesty – we live in a society in which it is considered impolite to speak of our own good qualities. That, too, is a bit backward, if you ask me. Let’s leave modesty aside for the moment and really think about ourselves, both as we are and as we long to be.

How do you want others to see you?
What do you want them to say about you?
What values do you hope to display to the outside world?
How do you measure your life?

These questions were posed to the congregation at UUCFM yesterday morning during service, and we were each asked to write down our answers. It brought to mind, for me, the idea of writing a “living obituary,” of sorts – a tool to help us in the quest to be the change we want to see in ourselves. For me, the answers included:

Is devoted to her friends, family and community.
Is working to protect the environment.
Gives freely of herself.

These are not necessarily things that are always true about me, but they are major components of the Me I want to be. They are the yardstick, if you will, against which I can measure the Rightness of my life. Some days – some years even – are better than others. But if I can visualize who it is I want to be (and also recognize that I am only human and will err along the way; sometimes I forget that this is OK), I can live each day one step closer to being that person. Such that when I am gone, these are the stories that will be told about me. I do want my life to be measured in love.

How do you measure your life?

Re-Imagining Valentine’s Day

Imagine a world in which the gender of your partner actually doesn’t matter.
Imagine a world where we celebrate love of all kinds.
Imagine a world in which basic human rights – the right to marry, or even to be present by your loved one’s bedside when he/she is ill in the hospital – are not denied to anyone.

photo courtesy of Alison M. Carville

This afternoon, about 25 UUCFM congregants stood at the corner of our little side road and the main road it crosses, to Re-Imagine Valentine’s Day. We were representing the Standing on the Side of Love organization’s mission to (as per their website), “[harness] love’s power to stop oppression.”

 

Tomorrow, as we are bombarded with images of love and romance, let’s try to really feel love. As one sign from today’s peace rally stated, “It is easy to hate; to love takes courage.”

Have the courage to believe in love for everyone. Love is not for a select group of people, but for all of humankind.

Everyone deserves love.

The Fruits of Our Labors

Like many people, I’ve never given a whole lot of thought to what Labor Day actually means. It’s been a day off from school or work, the unofficial end of summer, and sometimes a day for picnics and barbecues with loved ones. But what does it really mean?

This year, though, the true meaning is particularly salient for me. This year, not only are my husband and I each seeking work ourselves, but it seems like the whole country is re-evaluating what it means to be employed. People retire from a life-long career, then end up taking on part- or even full-time work anyway because they can’t afford to make ends meet. Job security in the majority of fields is wavering, with the dark cloud of downsizing always threatening. And people are stuck in dead-end, miserable occupations because they can’t afford to quit.

It sounds bleak, doesn’t it? Not much of a thing to celebrate on this first Monday in September. To be honest, being in a brand new area without friends or family to picnic with, we likely won’t be doing much celebrating, ourselves. But if we were, it would be as a tribute to those who are striving to improve the state of the economy. No one can deny that the country has hit some fairly dire straits in recent years. But we will bounce back. However long it takes, whatever path we follow, things will improve.

Keep that thought in your mind, particularly if you are one of those who is either unemployed or stuck in a job that leaves you feeling unfulfilled. Sit back, crack open a beer, throw some burgers on the grill, and enjoy this break from mundania.

This post was inspired by the sermon at The Unitarian Universalist Church of Ft Myers on Sunday, September 6, 2009.